How do you 'choose' your child(ren)?
How do you say 'this orphan can join my family, but not that one?'
I trust that God has the perfect sibling group for our family. We are being approved for 4. I do not know if we will adopt 4, of it God will bring us a sibling set of 3 (though 3 is likely the smallest number we would be able to adopt as they are considered 'special needs' just because of the number of siblings needing to be placed together).
We are hoping to finish our home study within the next 2 weeks. We are still waiting for 3 referrals to come back. We are waiting for our passports, and for our psychological report to come back and for our medicals to get done and the paperwork to get back. It is very exciting to be getting this close!
As we are getting this close, and are starting to look at sibling groups to potentially send a letter of intent of adoption to Colombia for them, I keep going back to the original question: How DO you choose your children? When God creates a new life in the womb, there is not a 'choice' in who He has placed there. I believe that God has the perfect siblings, and that He has called us to adopt. So I have to keep giving this issue back to Him.
In Colombia, it is often like adopting from the States. Lots of abuse, and neglect. Lots of extreme poverty and malnutrition. Adoption must start with loss. It starts with a loss of your birth family, often a separation from your siblings, and loss of identity. It starts with pain and sorrow, and from that, there needs to be healing.
We are currently waiting on the file to arrive from Colombia on a sibling set of 4, 2 boys (oldest and youngest) and 2 girls, who are almost 10, 8, 7 and 5. I have small bios on them. They sound wonderful! They are on track developmentally, healthy, doing well in school, socializing well, all absolutely adorable, enjoy arts and painting and animals. I keep looking at their pictures and praying for them, for their orphanage, and for all of the other children in their orphanage. We are praying about them. We are considering if they would fit into our family.
In all honesty, they look amazing! The only thing I can say is that I was hoping for overall younger. Brianna tends to be quite...competitive. The almost 10 year old boy is 6 months older than she is. I am not sure how that dynamic would work. I keep praying and asking God for clear direction, if this wonderful sibling group is who he has for us, or if there is a younger group, or just a different group for us. Please join me in this prayer, and seeking God's wisdom for what He has for our family.
I am really trying to enjoy this process. It is likely the only time we will be able to adopt. And I am enjoying being able to pray for these orphans, and read their stories. But there is also a heavy weight and burden of responsibility that I feel with it as well. There is such a need! And we are only able to help ONE sibling group.
So, how do I go about choosing my children? By the grace, strength and wisdom of God almighty, through prayer and supplication, and by the direction of the Holy Spirit!